Daily Archives: June 6, 2009

Where is the hope?

Each time I come up the stairs from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor, I’m greeted by Alexander’s sweet little face.  In his bedroom, there is a large framed photo which peers out at me.  The photo was taken during Christmas 2007 when we were visting Dan’s family.  Whenever I look at the photo, I see such hope in Alexander’s face.  His eyes expecting something wonderful to come.  How do I reconcile my current life with what I see in that photo when I feel so hopeless?

I saw 4 ambulances when I was out running errands today.  Three of the four had flashing lights with no sirens.  All I could think was someone else is gone and another family is about to go through the misery that I’ve lived with the past 5 1/2 months.

Dan and I met friends out for dinner and drinks last night.  Once again, I found myself telling someone else that Alexander passed in December.  When I say the words “passed in December”, it seems like it was long ago but my grieving heart doesn’t know anything about the passage of time.

I miss Alexander more each day.