Monthly Archives: April 2010

Seeing the headstone

I haven’t posted in a while because things have been status quo.

I think about Alexander all the time. The sadness and loneliness I feel at him not being here have become my constant companions.  Most days I manage okay.  I don’t cry every day like I used to and I can think about the happy moments.

Dan and I went to see Alexander’s headstone for the first time on Friday.  It’s actually a family headstone since we also have our names engraved on it, too. Seeing my own name on the stone didn’t bother me.  Seeing Alexander’s birth and death (still a hard word for me to say) dates at such a young age brought on another wave of sadness.  Parents are not supposed to outlive their children.

I should be planning Alexander’s 3rd birthday party and instead I’m designing a headstone.  It’s just another very sad experience in a long line of sad experiences I’ve had since December 20, 2008.