Dan was away this weekend and I planned to get a lot of things done around the house. I didn’t get everything I wanted done but I made some good progress. I managed to get the plants repotted and mowed our little patch of grass.
I stopped by the cemetery to visit Alexander’s grave. I was there a few days prior and realized the headstone needed cleaning so I went armed with cleaning wipes yesterday. The headstone was just a little dusty before but yesterday it was covered in bird poop. Not really a sight I wanted to see. So, now I’ve got a new job: keeping the headstone clean. My new job is yet another thing I never thought I’d be doing in my life.
It’s been a rather emotional week for me. Alexander’s 3rd was this past Monday, May 3 and today was Mother’s Day. It was the second birthday and second Mother’s Day I had to endure without him. Both seemed to be much harder on me this year. I don’t know…maybe it was because I was still so numb last year at this time and this year I feel everything so intensely.
I got out of bed today but did little else. I had 12 episodes of 24 on the DVR and spent the day (in my pajamas) catching up on the season. I needed to distract myself from my sadness and didn’t have energy for much else.
We bought plants, potting soil and other garden stuff yesterday and I was planning to spend the day in the garden. My sadness and the chilly weather kept me inside.
I’m really missing Alexander today and long for a hug from him and to hear him say mommy.