Monthly Archives: May 2010

My new job

Dan was away this weekend and I planned to get a lot of things done around the house.  I didn’t get everything I wanted done but I made some good progress.  I managed to get the plants repotted and mowed our little patch of  grass.

I stopped by the cemetery to visit Alexander’s grave.  I was there a few days prior and realized the headstone needed cleaning so I went armed with cleaning wipes yesterday.  The headstone was just a little dusty before but yesterday it was covered in bird poop.  Not really a sight I wanted to see.  So, now I’ve got a new job: keeping the headstone clean.  My new job is yet another thing I never thought I’d be doing in my life.

Emotional week

It’s been a rather emotional week for me.  Alexander’s 3rd was this past Monday, May 3 and today was Mother’s Day.  It was the second birthday and second Mother’s Day I had to endure without him.  Both seemed to be much harder on me this year.  I don’t know…maybe it was because I was still so numb last year at this time and this year I feel everything so intensely.

I got out of bed today but did little else.  I had 12 episodes of 24 on the DVR and spent the day (in my pajamas) catching up on the season.  I needed to distract myself from my sadness and didn’t have energy for much else.

We bought plants, potting soil and other garden stuff yesterday and I was planning to spend the day in the garden.  My sadness and the chilly weather kept me inside.

I’m really missing Alexander today and long for a hug from him and to hear him say mommy.