Over the weekend, I began the difficult task of starting to pack up some of Alexander’s things. I didn’t want to do it but we need the room for his little brother who will be arriving at Thanksgiving.
A couple of weeks ago, I brought up several containers of Alexander’s stuff from the basement to go through it to see what I could use for this baby. Most of it was feeding and cleaning supplies (bottles, burping cloths, wash cloths, etc.). Since the boys will be born in different seasons (Alexander in May and this baby in November), they probably won’t be able to share many clothes. I did pull out what I could from Alexander’s things and a friend gave me a few things. I should be good for the first few months.
For the first 30 minutes, all I could do was cry. It felt like I was packing away Alexander with each item that I put in the box. I packed until we needed to leave to meet friends for dinner. I was very happy to have the break. I did make a dent in what needed to be done and still have plenty of laundry to do.
Other than going to my prenatal visits and generally taking care of my health, I feel like I haven’t done enough to prepare for this baby. It’s just been hard to motivate myself to get to the store to buy anything.
After two days of packing, I’m feeling pretty emotionally drained. I’m excited to meet our little guy and welcome him into our lives. I miss Alexander so much and am sad that he isn’t here to be part of his brother’s arrival.
Remembering Alexander 
God bless you and congratulations! There is so much to grieve and so much to anticipate. I pray for you, Dan, Alexander and his little brother. Wishing you much joy!
What joy and sadness all mingled together, Michelle. I am so happy for this new baby that’s going to enrich your lives. It will be bittersweet since Alexander isn’t with you. I pray that some of those clothes will fit the baby so that you can cherish Alexander in seeing them worn by his brother. May God grant you peace as the time approaches baby’s birth.
This is a pain I know all about, and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I agree with Rachel, though: I hope you can use plenty of Alexander’s clothes, blankets, and toys for your new baby. Giving those items purpose, especially with a new brother, is a great way to honor Alexander. And, I think it will provide some comfort to know that Alexander touched those things: it’s kind of like a big, warm hug for his little brother. Very best to you, Michelle.