The week since Alexander’s birthday has been a difficult one for me. Mother’s Day was exactly one week after his birthday. Having to deal with those two firsts without Alexander took an emotional toll on me. I feel so exhausted and drained all the time. Like it takes every bit of energy I have just to make it through the day.
I cry spontaneously at the smallest reminders of Alexander. It could be something on tv or looking at a photo that brings back waves of emotion that overtake me.
I had a call with other SUDC moms last night. We’re all in different places in our grief journey but I think the conversation was helpful to us all.
I had to tell someone else about Alexander this week. I try to prepare myself in advance for these conversations because there are certain people I know won’t know about our loss. Just as prepared as I think I am to be able to say Alexander passed in December without breaking down, I always end up in tears. I think because it’s still so hard for me to believe, it’s still hard for me to say.
I miss you Alexander.