We have friends that do July 4th events at their home each year. From the first time we were invited, Dan and I have always enjoyed attending these events. This year was a bit tough for me.
Last year when I went to get Alexander up for the July 4th day, he was sitting in his crib patiently waiting for me with his left eye was completely swollen shut. Being a new parent, I freaked. I picked him up and then went to our bedroom where I told Dan we needed to take him to the ER.
I did call the pediatrician who calmed me down after I told him what happened. We figured out it was probably just an allergic reaction to a bug bite and Benadryl would fix the problem. We followed the doctors’ order regarding the Benadryl and Alexander’s eye was just fine. Alexander wasn’t affected at all by the swollen eye. It was me who was bothered.
July 4, 2008 – Alexander’s eye was completely swollen shut.
This is after he’d had some Benadryl.
Benadryl in hand, we headed out for the day. The first stop of the day was a brunch at friends. Alexander had fun opening and closing the doors in the house. He wandered through the party with confidence and as long as he could see Dan or I, he was fine.
After leaving brunch, we went home so Alexander could nap before heading to the cookout in the afternoon.
It was a wonderful day for the cookout. Alexander’s eye was much better and he had the best time running around with the other kids. Aside from flirting with the hosts’ niece, his favorite thing to do that day was to play with the radio. If we weren’t quick, he’d be at the radio either changing the station or turning the volume up. He loved turning knobs and it was a funny sight to behold.
July 4, 2008 – Alexander eating ice
All in all, it was a great weekend with good friends and good food.
This year, it was different. It was hard for me to attend the gatherings because of all the memories of Alexander. I told Dan I probably wouldn’t be able to stay at either event long but that I wanted to give it a try.
The weekend’s events were made more difficult by my having to tell two people about Alexander’s passing. On separate occasions, each person asked “How’s your little boy?” I wanted to cry but didn’t. I did tell each what had happened. I thought I was past having to still people but I guess not.
I miss our little guy so much and wish he were here.
We missed Alexander at the BBQ too. I don’t know how to get through the feeling that he SHOULD be here, joining in all of the events that we expected to be doing together. It makes me feel guilty and angry and I take these feelings out on people I love… that’s not fair, so I’ve got to figure out a way to work through it. I love you guys. Thanks for sharing the memories of last year.