Life really sucks. Because it was a sunny afternoon yesterday, I spent some time sitting in our backyard. This time last year, we were scrambling to get the backyard done in time for Alexander’s 1st birthday party. Yesterday, all I could was cry as I looked around the backyard and relived so many of the fun times we had out there.
I could see Alexander pushing his wagon during his birthday party because he wasn’t walking yet. He could take a few steps but still needed help. I could see him pulling up the stakes from my tomato plants and me getting frustrated every time. I could see him playing with his water table or splashing around his baby pool. Or, running through sprinkler when we’d water the grass. I could see him throwing and chasing tennis balls. I could see him dipping chips in salsa when we’d eat outside. I could see playing host to the other kids when we hosted one night of the neighborhood ice cream socials last summer. I could see my curious little boy being so happy exploring the backyard. We spent a lot of time back there and I have so many wonderful memories. Too many to list.
I often say to people that getting the backyard done was Alexander’s 1st birthday present from us. While it’s still a little sad for me to be in the backyard without Alexander, especially as the weather gets warmer, I do feel close to him when I’m sitting out there.