Life Sucks

Life really sucks.  Because it was a sunny afternoon yesterday, I spent some time sitting in our backyard.  This time last year, we were scrambling to get the backyard done in time for Alexander’s 1st birthday party.  Yesterday, all I could was cry as I looked around the backyard and relived so many of the fun times we had out there.

I could see Alexander pushing his wagon during his birthday party because he wasn’t walking yet.  He could take a few steps but still needed help.  I could see him pulling up the stakes from my tomato plants and me getting frustrated every time.  I could see him playing with his water table or splashing around his baby pool.  Or, running through sprinkler when we’d water the grass.  I could see him throwing and chasing tennis balls.  I could see him dipping chips in salsa when we’d eat outside.   I could see playing host to the other kids when we hosted one night of the neighborhood ice cream socials last summer.  I could see my curious little boy being so happy exploring the backyard.  We spent a lot of time back there and I have so many wonderful memories.  Too many to list.

I often say to people that getting the backyard done was Alexander’s 1st birthday present from us.  While it’s still a little sad for me to be in the backyard without Alexander, especially as the weather gets warmer, I do feel close to him when I’m sitting out there.

One response to “Life Sucks

  1. We have such fond memories of visiting you and Alexander in the backyard, Michelle. He was always happy to share his toys, snacks, and he was an equal-opportunity-splasher. The squeals of joy from him and Baker during a particularly splashy playdate ring in my ears today since reading your post.
    I love you all,

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