Today, we mark another “significant” day in our unending grief journey. Daniel is one day older than Alexander was when he died. It’s a day I’ve both dreaded coming and am grateful that it’s here. Daniel has been waking in the middle of the night/morning a lot lately, and when he screamed at 5am this morning, I was hoping he’d go back to sleep. No such luck. Yet, it was the best sound I’ve heard in a long while.
Before we head to the drive in tonight, we’re going to stop by the cemetery. With today’s impending milestone, I’ve been thinking about Alexander more than usual all week and really need to be there.
Even though we’ve only had one more day with Daniel than Alexander, I feel like we’re entering new territory. Just recently, I found myself thinking about 2nd birthday party ideas for Daniel and that scares me a little. It’s still hard to let myself believe what might be. I’m trying to have more hope that everything will be ok but some days it’s hard because I know how easily things can change.
First of all, sorry for the loss of Alexander, super cute.
Your blog has been amazing for me to read, we lost our 16 month old little girl just 4 weeks ago, this was a sudden infection that killed Alyssia within about 12 hours on the 17th June. Me and my wife are struggling to come to terms with her death and this blog shows there is a way to mourn and get on with our lives without our daughter. She was the strongest most beautiful little girl you could ever want and we miss her every minute of the day.
Michelle and Dan,
Just wanted you to know that I think about Alexander every year. I did not get to know him that well at the daycare but i will always remember him as a beautiful little boy that I was priveldged to know. Thinking of you all at the difficult but bittersweet time of year. Terri Batz