Tag Archives: bereaved parents

One More Day

Today, we mark another “significant” day in our unending grief journey.  Daniel is one day older than Alexander was when he died.  It’s a day I’ve both dreaded coming and am grateful that it’s here.  Daniel has been waking in the middle of the night/morning  a lot lately, and when he screamed at 5am this morning, I was hoping he’d go back to sleep.  No such luck.  Yet, it was the best sound I’ve heard in a long while.

Before we head to the drive in tonight, we’re going to stop by the cemetery.  With today’s impending milestone, I’ve been thinking about Alexander more than usual all week and really need to be there.

Even though we’ve only had one more day with Daniel than Alexander, I feel like we’re entering new territory.  Just recently, I found myself thinking about 2nd birthday party ideas for Daniel and that scares me a little.  It’s still hard to let myself believe what might be. I’m trying to have more hope that everything will be ok but some days it’s hard because I know how easily things can change.

Another birthday has come and gone

Since Alexander passed, the first week of May has been difficult for me. This year was no different. Alexander’s 4th birthday was May 3 followed quickly by Mother’s Day a few days later.

I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone on Alexander’s birthday so spent the day alone in quiet reflection looking at his pictures and videos. When Dan got home from work, we went to the cemetery and released 4 balloons.

On Mother’s Day, Dan and I visited a local sculpture park. We had a nice lunch and walk through the park while talking about Alexander and life. It was a little hard to see the park full of families with their young children but I’m glad we went.

I recently bought myself a charm necklace.  The sterling silver charm includes Alexander’s name below a raised heart.  I love it and wear it almost every day.  I find myself rubbing it constantly throughout the day whenever I think about Alexander.

I wish he was here now to give me a big hug.