I kept a promise to Alexander this week. For a while, I had been telling him that I was going to get a storage shelf for the toys in his room. I hadn’t seen anything I liked but I was on a mission the other day. I did find something. It’s a simple shelf that matches the other furniture in his room. Dan is traveling all week so I busied myself last night with assembling the shelf and organizing Alexander’s toys. The storage shelf is a good option because we’re still not ready to put away Alexander’s toys in the house.
Now, I just need to wash the laundry that’s been sitting in Alexander’s room since December.
I’m still going through a range of emotions. Sadness. Anger. Hurt. Sometimes, I’m very angry at God for taking my little boy away from me. Other times, I just miss Alexander so much it hurts. There are times I just want to be alone with my memories of Alexander. There are times I want to be social and times I don’t.
I’ve had many life changing moments in my 38 years. June 7, 1999 (day I got married). August 28, 2006 (day the doctor confirmed my pregnancy). May 3, 2007 (day Alexander was born). However, none of those has changed my life so much as December 20, 2008. A big part of me left with Alexander.