Slow week

Not much has happened this week.  I had a few meetings and we had dinner with friends a couple of nights.  The whole time, Alexander was always on my mind.

I continue to see my therapist.  It’s good to have someone to listen to me.  I know many friends would be willing to do the same but it’s different.  I can’t explain but it just is.

I had to tell another person last night about what happened to our family.  When Alexander and I would walk around in the neighborhood, there is a woman who was often sitting on her front stoop who would say “hi” to us.  I knew eventually I would have to tell her but I hadn’t seen her in awhile.  As Dan and I were walking last night to a neighbor’s house, there she was sitting on the stoop.  She asked, ‘The baby must be walking by now’.  I walked over to her and quietly said that he passed away.  Either she didn’t hear me or didn’t understand what I meant so I said, “The baby died in December”.  As I mentioned before, I really don’t like using that word when referring to Alexander but in this case, I had no choice.  She expressed her sympathy and I walked on to meet up with Dan.

I also got a message on Facebook yesterday from a high school expressing her sympathy.

I know these kinds of encounters will continue to happen.  I also know that someday it will become less difficult to deal with them.

The azalea bush in the backyard is starting to bloom.  Every time I walk past it, I think of Alexander’s first birthday and how we were rushing to get the backyard complete for his party.

Oh, how I wish, he was here right now.

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