Not much has happened this week. I had a few meetings and we had dinner with friends a couple of nights. The whole time, Alexander was always on my mind.
I continue to see my therapist. It’s good to have someone to listen to me. I know many friends would be willing to do the same but it’s different. I can’t explain but it just is.
I had to tell another person last night about what happened to our family. When Alexander and I would walk around in the neighborhood, there is a woman who was often sitting on her front stoop who would say “hi” to us. I knew eventually I would have to tell her but I hadn’t seen her in awhile. As Dan and I were walking last night to a neighbor’s house, there she was sitting on the stoop. She asked, ‘The baby must be walking by now’. I walked over to her and quietly said that he passed away. Either she didn’t hear me or didn’t understand what I meant so I said, “The baby died in December”. As I mentioned before, I really don’t like using that word when referring to Alexander but in this case, I had no choice. She expressed her sympathy and I walked on to meet up with Dan.
I also got a message on Facebook yesterday from a high school expressing her sympathy.
I know these kinds of encounters will continue to happen. I also know that someday it will become less difficult to deal with them.
The azalea bush in the backyard is starting to bloom. Every time I walk past it, I think of Alexander’s first birthday and how we were rushing to get the backyard complete for his party.
Oh, how I wish, he was here right now.