Our neighborhood hosts an egg hunt during Easter weekend. Last year, along with some other moms in the neighborhood, I helped to decorate 6 dozen or so eggs for the hunt. We didn’t go to the hunt because Alexander wasn’t walking yet and I didn’t want him to get trampled by the other kids racing to get the eggs. This year, I was looking forward to decorating eggs with Alexander and taking him to the hunt. Much like he enjoyed decorating Christmas cookies, I know he would have enjoyed coloring eggs and seeing him “hunt” for eggs would have been so much fun. I didn’t decorae eggs for the hunt this year, but I did give them 2 dozen treat-filled (candy, whistles, parachuting bunny, etc.) plastic eggs.
Alexander hanging with the Easter bunny at the Trenton Country Club (2008)
Last year, Dan, Alexander and I went to country for Easter brunch. This year, Dan and I have discussed making a lamb stew. He’s supposed to go fishing with a friend today so I’ll probably go get the ingredients and then throw everything into a crockpot. It’ll simmer all day and be ready when Dan gets home this evening.
Last year. This year. How could my life have gone so wrong in such a short time?
Last night, Dan told me he’s never going to watch the movie the Ten Commandments again. It is (was) one of Dan’s favorite movies. When he flipped to it last night, it had just been ordered that all firstborn, male children be killed. Not something that someone who’s recently lost their firstborn, male child wants to see. I won’t say that I’ll never watch the movie again but it’s going to be a while.
I’ve been missing Alexander so much this weekend. I watched some videos of him last night because I wanted to hear his sweet little voice.
This journey through grief is so hard.
Remembering Alexander 
So sorry for all the memories you won’t get to make with Alexander. You have been heavy on my heart!
I am so glad you were able to watch videos of Alexander! I couldn’t at first, but like you, I just wanted to hear Evan’s voice. For some strange reason, I couldn’t even remember his voice for the first few months. Be gentle to yourself and take it step by step. I loved the Easter pic…I don’t know you, but I wanted to share something with you. Alexander had the most adorable and unforgetable hair! I was walking through the mall the other day a saw a boy with similiar hair. It made me think of your precious little boy! Sometimes it just helps knowing someone is thinking of you! I hope this didn’t upset you….
((HUGS))
Daven
Michelle
Greetings to you and your husband.
Its been awhile since I sent a comment but I think about you all often.
Its good to see you are making progress. Its hard for both of you and noone knows your burden but you. You have my support even with just reading your daily thoughts. Keep writing and believe it or not you are stronger than you think. I see it in your writing.
Anyone that reads your comments can’t help but feel a strong loving connection you, your husband and beloved baby.