I’ve decided to take a break from therapy.
I’ve been chatting a lot online with other SUDC moms. I may go back to the therapist at some point in the future, but for me, for right now, chatting with the other SUDC moms is what I need.
I had a tennis lesson this afternoon. I haven’t played in awhile so I was a bit rusty and am actually a little sore now. I did stretch before the lesson and the lesson itself wasn’t that strenous. I guess I’m just a bit out of shape. I was a little sad while I was playing because I kept thinking about how much I enjoyed “playing tennis” with Alexander in our backyard. He really liked tossing the tennis balls and holding his racquet trying to hit balls.
This journey is so hard.
I was looking at photos of Alexander this evening and I couldn’t stop crying. I miss him so much. After I put the photos away, I tried to distract myself with playing mindless games on my cell phone. Didn’t work.
I’ve said this many times before but I just can’t believe my sweet little Alexander is no longer here with me. I just can’t believe I have to live without seeing my little boy’s smiling face and feeling his loving hugs.