The D Words

I was having trouble with my laptop for about a week and finally got the problem solved on Friday evening.  Prior to 6 weeks ago, I would have said my laptop died when describing to someone what was happening.  These days, I can’t use the words death, dying, die, died or any of the other d words.  Whenever one of those words enter my head, I immediately think of Alexander and it brings that awful day back to my mind.  I know I have no choice but I don’t want to associate those words my baby. 

I never realized before 6 weeks ago, how final and permanent they sound.  I will no longer be a casual user.

2 responses to “The D Words

  1. I am the same way, Michelle. Before December 20th, I would have said the battery is dead, or my cell phone died, but now I cannot bring myself to say those words without conjuring images of that day. My language has changed too.

  2. Let me add for the benefit of friends and family that other “D” words like decay are decompose are tough for us.

    This seems to be universal for families that have lost children or in other words, whose children have “passed”. I admit to thinking the word “passed” was a bit archaic, until you need describe what’s happened to your child. “Passed” isn’t as permanent and basically says you’ll see him again down the road.

    I desperately want to see him down the road and because of it won’t fear dying when my time comes.

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