Routines

I still find it hard to make it through the day without thinking about what I should be doing with Alexander at a given moment.  If it’s 9:30am on a Thursday, then we should be in his gym class or 10:30am on a Tuesday, we should heading to my tennis drill or if it’s 12pm, it time to think about lunch before I’d put him down for his nap.

I tried to keep our days pretty flexible but we did have a few routines. 

I had a meeting in South Jersey today.  I guess I didn’t think about what direction I had to go but on the way to and from the meeting, I had to pass the exit for Alexander’s pediatric opthamalogist and the exit for the surgical center where he had his tear duct surgery.  Both times I passed the exits, it brought back such a flood of memories.

When I got back into Trenton, I stopped by Alexander’s grave for a few minutes and cried some more.  I’ve been like a waterfall ever since.

I see Alexander in everything I do and everywhere I go. 

I just miss him so much.

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