I still find it hard to make it through the day without thinking about what I should be doing with Alexander at a given moment. If it’s 9:30am on a Thursday, then we should be in his gym class or 10:30am on a Tuesday, we should heading to my tennis drill or if it’s 12pm, it time to think about lunch before I’d put him down for his nap.
I tried to keep our days pretty flexible but we did have a few routines.
I had a meeting in South Jersey today. I guess I didn’t think about what direction I had to go but on the way to and from the meeting, I had to pass the exit for Alexander’s pediatric opthamalogist and the exit for the surgical center where he had his tear duct surgery. Both times I passed the exits, it brought back such a flood of memories.
When I got back into Trenton, I stopped by Alexander’s grave for a few minutes and cried some more. I’ve been like a waterfall ever since.
I see Alexander in everything I do and everywhere I go.
I just miss him so much.