January 1, 2009

All around us everyone else is saying Happy New Year and all I can think is not for me.

I was thinking about happiness this morning and what that means.  I told Dan that even if years from now, I can say I’m “happy”, I will never be as happy as I was before the bottom fell from our world on December 20, 2008.  I will always be just a little sad that Alexander isn’t with me in person.


The other day I was feeling especially down and didn’t want to get out of bed.  I looked over on the floor and saw a little plastic heart next to our bed where Alexander used to stand beside me in the mornings.  I later found a couple of these same plastic hearts on the stairs.  I took it as a sign from Alexander that he was sending me his love.

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