As I look through Alexander’s website and see all the photos, I realize we’ve been selfish in dealing with our grief. Alexander had a very happy life but it wasn’t just because of Dan and me. There were lots of people who loved him and those same people are also mourning his loss. My usual, normal self is to reach out and help others, and I wish I could this time. I can barely handle my own grief that I just don’t have enough in me to be able to provide comfort to any one other than Dan. Maybe in a few weeks or months, I’ll be in a better place. Until that time, I hope everyone understands and knows that I’m not intentionally keeping them at arm’s length, it’s just too painful to try and process anyone else’s grief at this moment.
I did accomplish a very normal thing yesterday. I managed to get all the laundry folded and put away that I washed. We’ve had two HUGE laundry days in the past few weeks but have never put anything away before it was all dirty and needed to be washed again.