It was another weepy day for me. I miss Alexander so much.
JC Penney was kind enough to print some additional Christmas photos for us after we called and asked them about getting a cd of Alexander’s photo session. Dan had plans to meet a friend so I went alone to get them. The staff person knew who I was and quickly helped me. I waited until I got in the car before I viewed the photos. I broke down while looking at the photos. I kept remembering how happy that photo day had been: After a playdate with a new friend that morning, we headed to the photo session. Alexander was initially uncooperative. He didn’t want to sit by himself and kept running over to me. He usually likes to have his photo taken so I’m not sure what was wrong that day. He perked up when one of the female staffers came in to assist. She was great and as a result, we got some fun photos of Alexander. I left there thinking, I’m looking forward to next year’s photo session and was already thinking about what he’d wear.
It seems the only time I can find peace lately is when I sleep. We stay up late almost every night and if we manage to get out of the bed before noon it’s a good day.
I’m only able to sleep a few hours at a time so I haven’t had any dreams in more than a week. I usually wake about 7:30am or 8:00am hoping to hear Alexander call for me. Knowing the call I long for isn’t going to come, I turn over and sleep a little longer.
After we both wake for good, Dan and I can easily spend 1-2 hours in bed talking about Alexander and how we’re feeling.