Alexander has stuff all over the house and garage. Since the garage is a bit dusty, Dan thought it was a good idea that we protect those items from the dust. Yesterday, he spent some time in the garage packing away Alexander’s things. I knew it would be hard for me so I didn’t offer to help. Dan says one of the toys kept going off as though Alexander was talking to him.
I’m not ready to pack away his stuff in the house. I think seeing emptiness where it was once so full of Alexander’s life would be worse for me.
We went out to dinner last night with an old friend of mine and her boyfriend. It was odd walking out to the garage and not seeing Alexander’s strollers and other things. He would always run up to his green umbrella stroller and push it around the garage. He had so much fun pushing the stroller and sometimes, I had to chase him around the garage in order to get him in the car.
Dinner was good. We went a restaurant called Brennen’s in Neptune. The first item on the specials menu was a Shrimp Alexander appetizer. Our little boy was saying “hi” to us so we had to order it. Dan and I split an order. It was really good and something Alexander would have enjoyed.
It’ still so hard for me to accept he’s not here with me. I miss Alexander’s smile and his infectious laugh so much.
That toy wouldn’t stop going off.
It was as if Alexander were saying, “No, No”.
I felt like I was putting him “away” and sat down on the dusty 2nd floor and bawled.
It was a practical thing to put the strollers and car seats in storage. However, I’m in no hurry to try this on his toys and clothes in the house.
I feel for you both so much.
I am amazed that you had the strength to do this. I am sure its so difficult. I am so sorry.